Damn you, Totino’s! What won’t you let me go? Why must you temp me into your tasty, crispy crust? I’ve tried to quit you, but I just can’t. I’ve taken you out of my house. I’ve thrown away my pizza pan. I’ve gotten rid of my pizza cutter. Somehow, someway, you still find your way into my life, and back into my heart.

The saddest moment in my life is when I hit 3 party pizzas a day. It’s hard to live like that and I want it to stop. It’s not only affected me, but it’s affecting my family. I’ve been late on my rent payment 3 times now because I’ve spent it on my Tostino’s supply.

I think it’s time we take a stand. I think it’s time we start a grass roots campaign to get Tostino’s party pizzas on the list of controlled substances. No longer will you be able to just go to the store and get your fix. You’ll have to go through a Doctor, having a genuine need for Tostino’s to get a prescription.

I’ll keep you updated on the progress of this movement, because we are tired of the “movements” caused by your devil pizza!

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